Loyal

Music by Lauren Daigle, performed by Suzy Baldwin

Holy Week breaks me open. Every year. Without fail. Whether I have been entrenched in Lenten practices, or whether I have felt disconnected, when Holy Week arrives it forces me to stop. The enormity of what this week represents, and calls us to remember, is never lost on me.

And this year has added even more layers to the already reverent tone. We’ve all been stopped in our tracks for a year. More than 365 days filled with waiting. We’ve been down.

Unlike Holy Week, this year of quarantine has felt like waiting without expectation. And I’ve been in a season. A season of unlearning, relearning, building up, breaking open, and evaluating many things.

But Holy Week reminds me of this: the love of God is not dependent on how I feel. No matter if I feel close or far away from Him, He is loyal. More faithful than the rising sun, this grace for me, I can’t outrun. God is a God who is present. When we speak, He listens. When we are silent, He waits. When we are still, He fights for us.

Whatever feels the most real to you, that is what God feels like. Whatever feels the most safe to you, that is what God feels like. Whatever feels the closest, most joyful, the most welcoming, that is who God is. I may have seasons of quiet, seasons when my prayers are nothing but a deep breath. But He is loyal.

As Friday nears, let us remember his deep, unfailing loyalty, and remember that Sunday is coming.

- Suzy Baldwin